"Beaver!" said the miner. "Have you seen much gold in this fork of the river?"
"It's very valuable in the human world," said the miner.
The beaver shook his head. "You must be kidding!" he said. "Then we live in very different worlds indeed, because in the beaver world gold is what you humans would call shit."
The miner did not follow this.
"It's very simple," said the beaver. "Beavers shit gold. Why do you think its always floating in the rivers?"
The miner thought about this for a moment. He stood up and held out his pan. "Well, would you mind shitting in my pan, then?"
The beaver snorted. "Out here, in the open? If another beaver sees me, my good reputation is ruined," he said. "Tell you what, you gather up these sticks for me and follow me back to my hole and we'll do business there."
The miner happily obliged the beaver. He had always been certain that he was not only lucky but smart as well, and today both of these traits had pulled through for him.
He followed the creature through the woods to a cozy home built in the side of the hill. It was a tight squeeze through the doorway, and inside there wasn't room enough for him to stand, but he found the beaver home warm and hospitable. The beaver left him in the living room sitting on the floor, for no beaver furniture would hold the miner. He waited there for what seemed like quite a long time, and all the while he could hear murmuring voices coming from the beaver bedroom. From the shadowed hallway he could occasionally see glowing eyes appraising him.
He began to get very uncomfortable. He should not have trusted a forest animal he did not know on a personal level. Finally, he shouted out: "I would just like to get some beaver shit and be on my way, thank you very much!"
And here is where this story becomes rather strange.
The door to the beaver bedroom opened and the beaver silently beckoned him. The miner thought that he should probably just leave, but the prospect of getting an entire pan full of gold was too much to pass up, and so he crawled forward into the beaver bedroom. There was a small bed made of woven grass on a frame made of chewed-down branches. Handcuffed to this bed frame was a female beaver wearing white lingerie. In the corner of the room was a tripod and video camera.
"What's going on here?" said the miner.
The beaver closed the door behind him and stood before it. "It's called a threesome," said the beaver.
The miner looked around. The female beaver arched her leg up and made kissy faces. She pointed her ass at him, she spread her legs, she giggled uncontrollably.
"I'm very confused," said the miner.
"You want to strike it rich, buddy?" said the beaver. "Then I have two words for you: beaver porn. It's an untapped fetish. I've been selling amateur videos for months now; we just put a down payment on a new hole in the South Fork! The industry is about to explode with it, and we can be in on the ground floor: the first human/beaver porn!"
"I wanna get fucked by a human!" Mrs. Beaver screamed. "I wanna feel human cock in all my holes!"
"Look," said the miner. "I really just came here for some beaver shit..."
"Whatever gets you hard," said the beaver. "But that's the thing: it has to look authentic. No one gets off when they can tell that the actors are faking it."
"Fuck me!" said Mrs. Beaver. "Come fuck my wet pussy!"
"Pipe down!" said the beaver.
"I'm sick of putting up with tiny beaver dick! I want a huge human cock!"
"Hey!" said the beaver.
"If I could just get that shit from you would be great," said the miner.
"After I put my bitch back in line," said the beaver.
The beaver marched over to the bed and began smacking Mrs. Beaver around. She writhed about on the bed, sobbing at first, and then screaming with pleasure.
"Hit me!" she cried. "Hit my bitch face!"
The beaver climbed on top of her and started fucking her. The little grass bed crashed into the earthen wall. "Hey," the beaver said, turning to the miner, his eyes glazed over, "turn on that camera and come over here and fuck me in the ass!"
"No, fuck me!" cried Mrs. Beaver. "Fuck me in the ass!"
"Fuck us both!" yelled the beaver. He began pumping Mrs. Beaver more vigorously and then with a shuddering groan he fell off of her. "Come here, come here," he gestured to the miner, "come lick my balls."
The miner backed slowly out the door and as he crawled out of the beaver home he could hear the little bed bouncing again and Mrs. Beaver shrieking profanely. He never told anyone of his strange encounter, and it wasn't until many years later that he was given the opportunity to confirm the value, in dollars, of beaver shit.